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Like most life skills, flirting is all about practicing and honing your technique. For some people, flirting seems to come naturally and approaching someone new isn’t a big deal. But for the rest of us mere mortals, flirting can feel embarrassing to the point of nauseating.
This is totally fine. To be flawed is to be human and while your pick up lines might need some work, that shouldn’t put you off having a go. That said, there are a few things you might like to try to improve your odds.
Practice with Different People
Flirting is all about holding a conversation. This isn’t about you holding court or dominating, it’s about listening and responding. With this in mind, you’ll find that different people tend to flirt in their own way. Some might like to hold deep conversations, others might prefer to keep things light.
The only way you’ll learn more about flirting is by doing it yourself and practicing on different people. You might like to try online dating or speed dating to start with or you could visit https://www.mymobileline.com/ and talk to someone in person with no strings attached.
The more you flirt with other people, the more you will learn what works and what doesn’t. As you gain confidence, you can start to be more open with your conversations and, crucially, you will learn to relax.
Ask More Open Questions
One of the main anxieties people have about approaching someone is what to say. Some people are naturals and come up with a killer opening line every time but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a simple introduction along the lines of ‘hi my name’s…’.
Another good trick for struggling conversationalists is to ask open questions. It’s hard to keep thinking of topics to talk about, so asking an open question will encourage broader answers that will take you in different and unexpected directions. For example, you might like to ask someone where they grew up (a closed question) but then follow up by asking what their childhood was like.
Don’t worry about being flirtatious with every response. Listening and asking follow-up questions is just as important when it comes to indicating your interest and your date will certainly appreciate you more for listening to them.
When you feel like you’re constantly being rebuffed and you don’t know where the next date might come from, it’s hard to stay motivated. But don’t start panicking just yet. Dating – and indeed your whole social life – should be about having fun. When you are doing interesting things and putting yourself out there, not only will your confidence grow, but you’ll have something more than work to talk about on your next date!
Flirting is all about having fun so gently teasing and making jokes is a good idea. If your date is laughing, that’s definitely a good sign that your flirting is starting to work.
Don’t Forget Your Body Language
When we feel anxious, it’s natural to bunch our bodies up, avoid eye contact and turn away. This is unfortunate because if you do this on a date, the other person is almost guaranteed to interpret this as a lack of interest in them.
Flirting with your body is all about understanding the signs and putting yourself out there. You don’t need to rip off your shirt or do anything melodramatic, just try opening up your body so that you appear more relaxed and make sure you make eye contact when you speak. We humans have a wide range of flirtatious behaviors and if you’re not sure what to say, your body can fill in the blanks.
Keep it Natural
Nothing is worse than a planned flirtation and while a cheesy line might break the ice, you need to be much more relaxed about where things go. The back and forth of flirting is essential if you want to get to know each other a little better and decide whether you want to spend more time together.
The people who find flirting easy are those who don’t take themselves too seriously, they just put themselves out there and see what comes back. If you are relaxed and happy to see where things go, you’ll probably have a bit more success than any interactions that feel pressured or awkward. You can’t plan flirting and the best conversations are those that lead in entirely unexpected directions.
If you really want to be a good flirt, you must first learn to go with the flow and live in the moment.