You want to date in Britain? That’s cute, really, but it’s not going to be all fine and dandy, so you better brace yourself. You’ll have to decide whether you want to chase one of those single bikers or you just want to get yourself a cute all British date, and see what fate has in store for you. Please memorize these 15 unwritten rules of dating in Britain before you do anything to embarrass yourself. Please.
#15: The Brits’ Knowledge of the Tube System is Limited
Don’t rely on your date to have an endless knowledge of the tube system. If it looks puzzling it is puzzling, to everyone.
#14: Cocktails are Everywhere
Brits know their cocktails so you better come up with something more original that having a pitcher of beer at a pub for your date.
#13: British Girls Like Heels
Don’t expect a British girl, or should we say a London girl, to show up in flat shoes, so your plans for your date better not involve any hiking.
#12: British Girls Don’t Cook
If your idea of a perfect date is having a home cooked meal over a bottle of wine by the fireplace, you can take that idea elsewhere because it’s not going to fly in Britain.
#11: No Commitment Under 30
Consider yourself warned that 40 is the new 30 on the British dating scene, so don’t expect any commitment from young Brits.
#10: Date Night is Any Night
If you want to date like a real Brit, you better be prepared to come home at 4 a.m. on a Thursday. Haven’t done that since college? Tough luck.
#9: Brits Don’t Do Sundays
In Britain, Sunday is recovery day so if you want to go for a stroll down by the Thames on a beautiful April Sunday, you’ll be going all by your lonesome.
#8: British Girls Have Attitude
It’s not the worst thing in the world, but your British girl will make your blood freeze in your veins just by looking at you if you do or say anything stupid.
#7: Old School Goes a Long Way
Your British girl will not expect you to literally be a knight in shining armour, although you could dress up like one on occasion, for, you know, but holding the door open for her every now and then will score you some major points.
#6: You Better Not Be Late
If you want to date in Britain you better be as punctual as a Swiss clock. Showing up late for your date is just not going to fly. Consider yourself warned.
#5: You Better Like Natural Smells
The Brits are not like the French per se, with their perfumes instead of showers and all, but if you’ve ever seen the traffic in any major British city, you’ll know that any trace of perfume or body lotion will be washed away by combustion gas.
#4: British Girls Have Baby Wipes on Them
Don’t feel threatened by their baby wipes. They’re not moving in or suggesting you should have kids. They just want to wipe pollution off their hands and faces.
#3: No PDA Allowed
You’ll soon learn that the British are really polite, it’s not just a stereotype. If they bump into a tree, they’ll stop and apologize. PDA is considered very impolite, and it has no place on the streets of Britain, so you better get used to that.
#2: Tea Is Not Just For Sick People
You may think that it’s just a myth or a stereotype, but people in Britain love their tea, and they drink it all the time. Not just when they’re sick. All. The. Time.
#1: If You’re Not From Britain Don’t Attempt A British Accent
They will not find it amusing. It’s perfectly OK not to be from Britain, but if you were born elsewhere don’t pretend to be British or do a British accent.